Bloggie Wednesday: The Scariest Post I’ve Ever Published

Bloggie Wednesday: The Scariest Post I've Ever Published

© Luis Llerena

A week ago, I received an email from reader Cocoa and here’s what she said:

Dear Tine,

Will you consider blogging about things that scare you before you click “Publish” (The past and present) in your next Bloggie Wednesday, please?

I am curious to know how an experienced beauty blogger like yourself might have had overcome some psychological struggles in your blogging journey thus far. For example, have you ever felt like the world might collapse if you publish your makeup collection? Were you afraid of people judging you too harshly? Were you afraid of offending any sponsors or any group of people in society? I got inspired by this post:

I thought it was a brilliant idea and I thought I’d answer her question on today’s Bloggie Wednesday.

It’s a very interesting question, on what I find scary to blog about before hitting the Publish button because goodness knows how many times I’ve hesitated hitting that button on a blog post. There are many topics that I’ve wanted to blog about but wasn’t 100% sure if I should do it or not. Once it’s published, once it’s out there on the Internet, there’s no taking it back.

I’ve posted my makeup collection before many years ago and thankfully, the response had been positive. I intend to post an updated look to my makeup collection soon and even though I love reading “my makeup collection” posts, I can’t help but think if people are going to say they’re a bloody waste of money, especially given how many blushes and lippies I have (and these aren’t even the items that were sent to me for review). Am I afraid of people judging me harshly? Of course I am. I’m only human after all. Who likes to be criticised? It’s no fun, no fun at all.

I’m sure I’ve offended brands and sponsors because of the way I write since I’ve been dropped from many PR’s call-out lists. I don’t write about every single item that has been sent to me and when I do, I don’t mince words. I’m not overly critical (unless the product is really, really bad), but if the product doesn’t work for me, I will say so. After all, what is the point of blogging about beauty when I can’t tell you how I feel about products that I’ve come across truthfully? And you know me; if I think that the product is really good, I’d sing praises to it, whether I get it as a PR sample or not.

But does it bother me? I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t bother me one bit but I’ve slowly learned to accept the fact and move on. I’d much prefer to work with someone who understands the way I work than someone who doesn’t. I give 100% to my blog and readers in each post that I write and to produce anything less than that would be doing a disservice to me and you.

Opinion pieces are often the most interesting yet hardest to write because of how my readers will perceive my opinion. Years ago, I published a post on being a “made-in-China” skincare snob and it wasn’t received too well. I didn’t regret writing it though. That, I reckon, would be the scariest post I’ve published on BA and in hindsight, it wasn’t that scary anyway.

I have a number of blog posts that I’ve written that were never published. They’re still sitting in draft mode because I’m still not sure if I should publish it or not. For example:

  • Beauty blogging and animal testing. It’s along the lines of “can you be against animal testing but still use products tested on animals because you blog about beauty and you try a myriad of products?” and so on. This would open a massive can of worms, which is why I’ve hesitated publishing it even though I wrote the draft 2 years ago.
  • My infertility journey. This was the toughest to write. It was cathartic to let the words flow out on screen and I remembered crying as I typed but I couldn’t bring myself to hit the Publish button. Not yet.
  • My experience on what was possibly the worst haircut and colour session I’ve ever had. I couldn’t publish the post in the end because my hair was done by someone I know and she reads my blog. I think.
  • Any form of “collections”. I adore bags and I have a lot of them. But it’s not something I can freely share because of the fear of judgment I’ll get on them. I don’t have many designer bags, but they’re still more than an average person would have. The only time I proudly showed a bag off was when I completed last year’s 52 Week Money Challenge.

I’ve got more, but I’m sure you know what I mean by now. I don’t post anything and everything that comes to mind on BA. Anything that displays any form of “collection” could be deemed as showing off. Too personal a story and people back off. Too strong an opinion about something and it turns people off.

Why do I care what people think of me and BA? Of course I care; it took me 8 years to get here, to build a loyal following (thank you) and most of all, I care about my readers. If I know a particular topic is going to offend just about everyone who reads my blog, it wouldn’t take a genius to understand why I wouldn’t even touch it with a ten-foot pole.

This is a very interesting topic and if you’re a blogger, I’d really love to know as well. What is the scariest post you’ve ever published? Perhaps you could answer Cocoa’s questions as well in a blog post of your own. Do you hesitate publishing posts on certain topics that you know may strike a nerve in your readers? Do you hesitate sharing any sort of collection that you may have (makeup, shoes, bags, dolls, etc) because of how your readers will perceive you? There’s no right or wrong answer here. Each blogger is different.

I may post those topics that I mentioned one day. Never say never, right? 🙂

Bloggie Wednesdays is a series of articles just on blogging. They contain tips, how-tos, discussions about anything and everything you need to know about blogging and how we can be better bloggers. If you have any suggestions, tips and tricks about blogging you would like to share with us, or if you have any questions you would like me to address, please let us know in the comments.

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18 comments… add one
  1. Claire F

    Tine, your post brings back lots of bitter sweet memories, as I also keep a journal about our journey to become parents. It was such a long, roller coaster ride that we experienced, but we emerged with our dreams fulfilled, we are blessed with our son. All that I say can is, don’t give up, we never did, although at times throughout our 14 year journey it felt like it was never going to happen. I don’t think I could ever publish my writings, it was more of a release of all my emotions and feelings. Good luck Tine, having been there, I know how hard it can be and how isolating it feels. Good luck to you and Tim, you are both in my prayers xx

    1. Tine

      Thanks Claire. It’s difficult and yes, it does feel like it’s never going to happen.
      Nah, keep those writings to yourself if you’re not comfortable sharing. In this day and age of oversharing, there are some things that should be kept private. 🙂 I should have started a private diary or blog for this but I have a feeling it’s going to be post after post of frustration and anger. I actually unfollowed over half of the people I friended on Facebook because of the overwhelming amount of “I’m pregnant” and “here’s my baby” posts. Sigh.

  2. Fei

    Tine, you don’t know me (you might have seen occasional comments from me on your FB blog page), but I really wanted to give you a hug after reading this post!

    I only started following your blog in the past year or so, but love all your posts.

    1. Tine

      Aww thanks Fei. I’ll give you a hug back! 🙂

  3. Paris B

    That’s a good question, although I wouldn’t say I’ve posted anything “scary” per se. But more of I posted something and wasn’t aware just how badly/strongly it was received, and since people all had their thoughts, I chose instead to not reply to comments so I didn’t get sucked in, and just allowed everyone their say. In a manner of speaking, I’ve taken a “safe” approach to blogging. I still walk that controversial line, but I’ve learned that as you grow, some things are better left unsaid. It’s the same thing with life. Not everything has to be shared and not everything has to be said. I don’t do collections as a rule because I’m not even going to open myself up that much. You know that I’ve been quite private all these years and I’ll keep it that way as much as I can 🙂 I won’t hesitate to ruffle a few feathers, if it’s related to the subject of my blog, since I’m pretty blunt in my writing style anyway, but if it’s too personal I step back. There are some things no one needs to know 🙂
    Paris B recently posted..Your Say: Would you pay $90 (RM359) for a lipstick?My Profile

    1. Tine

      That’s a really good idea, not replying and just let people have their say. I must remember to do that when I write any sort of controversial posts. It’s so easy to get sucked in, especially the ones when you feel you have to defend yourself or something over and over. As for the really personal stuff, I’d feel more comfortable sharing it on my personal blog if I was still running it because there’ll be a much smaller audience. Sharing on BA, well, I can either get good responses from more people or I could stir up the pot. I don’t think I’m quite ready to do the latter just yet.

  4. Celina

    Sometimes I wish I could reach through and give you one massive hug! *HUGS*
    Celina recently posted..Essie Cashmere Matte CollectionMy Profile

    1. Tine

      Awww *HUGS* <3

  5. Nikki

    Mine would probably be about my mom’s depression and how it affected me and my family!
    It took me a year to finally click the PUBLISH button!
    Re: Infertility…*hugs* I’m here for you offline 😀

    1. Tine

      Thanks Nikki 🙂
      It takes a lot of time and a whole lot of courage to talk about depression in someone you love, and I totally understand it. If it was me, I think I would have taken a lot longer. It isn’t easy. But I’m glad you did. 🙂

  6. Robert C

    Hmm, scary posts. I wouldn’t say I’ve posted anything scary before although there are sensitive topics that I tend to write about and let them rot in draft mode. One of them is actually about the whole Caitlyn Jenner fiasco and everyone saying she’s not brave/courageous blah blah blah, I’ve written my thoughts about it but decided to lock it away. Other than that, I’m not quite sure. Being the super-opinionated person that I am, I don’t think I have a problem posting about most topics, and that includes animal welfare hahaha. On the issue of sharing collections, I don’t have a big collection of anything so I can’t really say, but I agree that some people can be really judgy about it.
    Robert C recently posted..[thoughts] Animal Welfare in the World of CosmeticsMy Profile

    1. Tine

      I read your post on animal welfare in cosmetics and well done on talking about the issue. It’s exactly how I feel too. China is such a wide market with so many people; it wouldn’t make business sense not to sell there. On the other hand, unfortunately, their requirements are to test on animals. There are a few major beauty brands that have the budget for research on using some sort of manufactured skin grafts that resemble human skin that can be used to test cosmetics on. This way, there wouldn’t be any necessity to test on animals. It’s still an expensive technology that a lot of companies can’t afford just yet. But hopefully the Chinese government would see this as a better alternative and stop testing on animals.

      This subject is particularly hard to talk about because on one hand, I don’t agree with testing on animals and would support beauty brands that are cruelty-free. On the other hand, am I going to stop using products from brands that while may be cruelty-free in all countries, it won’t be in China because they want to sell the products to their market? No I won’t.

  7. Shamim de Varax

    the most scariest posts I’ve written were personal ones on my own blog. I went through a lot of things during uni which were scary for me and also for anyone I knew and of course I’ve alienated more than a few people but also found those who’ve supported me and are still friends to this day. I did realise there is something to be said for self-editing and I write less now, but the occasional personal posts, because I can’t just write myself out of my own life, you know?

    beauty blogging for me on the other hand is fun and an outlet and so ‘how on earth would this ever affect the world in any significant way except to drive the market through my incessant ridiculous spending’ and I love how completely inane it is. it’s makeup for f**k sake =p
    I don’t hold back, if I love something I love it, and if I don’t then I don’t. and I adore haul posts and what’s in your collection. actually if you see my actual collection you might just ban me for life. speaking of which, another yet ridiculous european makeup haul instagram photo will be coming shortly.
    Shamim de Varax recently posted..SDV Reviews: BOURJOIS Rouge Edition Velvet Liquid LipsticksMy Profile

    1. Tine

      When I was still running my personal blog (it’s now defunct), boy, was I raw in many of the posts. I wrote about my depression and while I thought I was being quite cryptic, in hindsight, people could read my blog and I like an open book. I don’t think I could ever be that raw on BA because 1) it’s supposed to be a fun read where I enable people to buy shit 😛 and 2) well, it’s makeup FFS.

      I’ll be doing an updated look into my makeup collection soon and I have no problems wanting to show it at all. It’s not as big as people expect since I cull pretty often but compared to a lot of people, it’s a lot. 😛

  8. Cocoa

    Thank you so much for responding to my query! I am so sorry to learn of your struggle with fertility, but I am so glad that you are blessed with a larger family of your own now!

    I agree that animal testing and beauty blogging is a tough topic to tackle. Not sure they will ever reconcile.

    I enjoy reading the thoughts from your other readers so much! There is something to learn form each of them.
    Cocoa recently posted..Travel Theme: Grey – Mudskipper at Sungei Buloh Wetland Reserve, SingaporeMy Profile

    1. Tine

      Erm, Cocoa, I think you must have misunderstood. I don’t actually have any children. 😛

  9. Mel

    Thank you for sharing a personal post :). Appreciate your bravery!
    Mel recently posted..Review of Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel and Water Gel SPF 15 UVA/UVBMy Profile

    1. Tine

      Thanks Mel. I didn’t actually share all that much. 😛

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